Anticipatory|Después (A|D)
The U.S. tends to have difficulty confronting the realities of life as it relates to death and the process of dying, leaving many caregivers and the bereaved to feel isolated and shamed into silence in their grief and trauma. After becoming a caregiver and ultimately losing my mother to cancer, I have made an effort to break down this silence through my artwork and researched others sharing this desire across industries.
My ongoing body of work, Anticipatory|Después captures the complex layers of trauma, dying, and grief through a caregiver’s eyes. Each piece shares the physical and emotional state of the dying, the caregiver, and at times the two concurrently. Through A|D artworks, workshops, and resources, I offer communal opportunities for healing, and an honest, open dialogue around death and grief.
For further caregiver-focused artwork, visit the Útiles Curativos page.
Consequence depicts the inner turmoil of caregiving for the terminally ill. The frustration and pain of the caregiver tasks, alongside anticipatory grief, are expressed in an imaginary space where they can be safely released.
Sylvia creates a fragmented vision of the deceased by reenacting memories of her common movements while wearing her clothing.
Ahora glimpses at the unpredictable nature of grief-inflicted anxiety and panic by partially reenacting the violent final moments of my mother’s life.
Esencial is a visual meditation on what is cleansed from a life when grief becomes reality by reflecting on the physical process of my mother's cremation alongside the common phrase “Grief is like a wildfire. It clears away all the non-essential.”
Vigil reenacts the final weeks of my mother's life, holding vigil in her room, surrounded by condolence flowers, waiting for death to relieve her pain.
Mirage reflects on the growing bond of my relationship with my mother as her health gradually declined.
Labyrinth meditates on the psychological process of the dying through the memory of an onlooking caregiver.
Criada portrays the invisible labor of those who give care by embodying a memory of the deceased as a form of honoring the sacrifices of the dead.
No Puedo is a meditation on the secrets we keep in grief. The guilt of mistakes, knowledge of sensitive information, and memories which seem unspeakable.
Desequilibrio depicts the overwhelming disorientation and desperation for relief from recurring shock during acute grieving.